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I am using this blog to tell you what I have learned after more than 30 years as a California divorce attorney. This is not intended to be legal advice as it would be impossible for me to responsibly offer you the specific advice you will need.
I am hoping when you read this you will know that this thing called “divorce” has no power of its own. It does not define you and cannot alter who you are. Your spirit will survive despite some gut-wrenching challenges.
The anecdotes I will share with you are ones I have pieced together from handling thousands of divorces. I have represented writers, teachers, ministers, salespeople, very famous, very simple, rocket scientists, stay-at-home dads, stay-at-home moms, dot-com phenoms, former priests, costume designers, journalists, cello players, doctors, dancers, bookies, jockeys, and transgendered.
I have not met a divorce yet that is anything more than a riddle. Why is that important to know? It is key because riddles always have solutions.
So your divorce is not an endless set of undefined problems with no solutions. Quite the contrary. It is a problem or a set of “issues,” which is what lawyers are taught in law school to call problems. My job as a divorce lawyer is to learn all about that riddle and solve it.
I happen to like riddles, people, and a challenge.
Will the Divorce Court Order a Parent to Pay for College?
Many divorcing couples have this challenge. There is no legal basis in California for the Court to order a parent to pay for the child’s college education. However, if the parents reach an agreement regarding this issue, and that agreement is properly included in the...
11 Holiday Tips to Maintain Sanity (Whether You Are Divorcing or Not)
Call your friend you have not talked to in forever. Volunteer. You know the drill. Your kids’ school, food bank, church. They are all waiting for you. Gifts. Give the barista and your dry cleaner $20.00 with a note from you. You will make their year. Go to the...
Treatment of Bonus, Commission, and Overtime Income in the Calculation of Child and Spousal Support
When determining the correct amount of spousal and child support in California the court considers many factors, including irregular and unpredictable income. In most cases when the supporting or supported person receives income over their base salary the court...
What Happens to Our Business in a Divorce?
A business is an asset that has to be divided in the divorce. It has a value, just like a house, car, bank account, or retirement plan. That value has to be measured so it can be divided. The business does not have to be sold. Typically the spouse that operates the...
Changing Your Name After Your Divorce
In California, it is relatively easy to change your name at the time the divorce Judgment is entered. Family Code Section 2080 provides that the Court shall restore the birth name or former name of a party upon request. It is your choice. Your soon-to-be ex-spouse has...
We Are Getting Divorced. Do We Have to Sell the House?
The answer is maybe. “Equity” is the difference between what your house is worth (fair market value) and what is owed on the property. Assuming your house is community property, the equity will be divided equally between you and your spouse. Example: The house was...
What is Joint Custody?
You and your spouse are getting a divorce. Together you have a couple of wonderful children. You cannot agree on much of anything. You both would like to stay living in your home. You do not want to pay spousal support but your spouse is demanding it. You think your...
What Is “No Fault” Divorce?
In California a dissolution of marriage (i.e. divorce) is most often based on irreconcilable differences. The only other basis is incurable insanity which is rarely used. The issue of fault is not considered in determining if a divorce should be granted. In 1969 the...
Your First Meeting With Your Divorce Attorney
Often the hardest part of a divorce is making the first consultation appointment to interview an attorney. It takes courage to make that call. To get the most out of the initial consultation you should be prepared to provide the following information to the attorney:...
Mother’s Day
The one thing that we almost always agree on in contested custody cases is that “Mother’s Day goes to Mother; Father’s Day goes to Father.” We automatically insert this into the orders without much thought, discussion, or argument. Sometimes creating this...
What You Need to Know About the Cost of Your Divorce
Hourly rates for California divorce attorneys vary from $200 to $800 per hour depending upon the various levels of expertise, experience, and training that the lawyer and law firm offers. Fee structures also vary widely. The most common arrangement is one where an...
Date of Separation: What is it? Does it Matter?
One of the first decisions you have to make when going through a divorce is what your date of separation is. The date of separation is a subjective decision: it is when you decided the marriage was over. Often this date is not clear. Often the two people getting...
It’s Spring Break. Who Gets the Kids?
In a perfect world, Spring Break will be decided, along with all other holidays and vacations, well before the actual dates arrive. That way everyone knows where they are supposed to be. Here are the basic rules regarding shared custody: The children’s health, safety,...
Do You Need an Emergency Order for your Divorce?
Fear, anger, resentment, and retribution often drive a divorce case, particularly right after the papers have been served. Your partner may have taken all the money that was in your joint accounts. Your partner may be refusing to allow you to have visitation with the...
To Half and to Hold: Prenuptial Agreements
People call me all the time to ask about prenuptial agreements. What are they? Who needs one? Ask yourself why you think you may need a prenuptial agreement. Do you need to protect the interests of your children who are from a previous relationship in the event you...
What is That “Secret” to Success?
Victory. It comes in all shapes and sizes. It seems to always include one common ingredient: hard work. I am thrilled with some recent victories and grateful to be a part of them. 1. SETTLEMENT OF A VERY DIFFICULT CASE It was the day Los Angeles got rained on in...
Olympic Glory: Medal Counting
I thought we weren't supposed to focus on one country's medal count over the other. I thought the Olympics were supposed to be about nonpolitical, universal sportsmanship - a chance for the athletes to break down barriers by doing their absolute best. When did all...
Be Mine (or not)
Valentine's Day comes every year whether we welcome it or not. It ignores the fact that some may be in some stage of divorce. At times it can be completely heartless. Holidays are great except for those times when reality fails to match up with any of the greetings...
Waiting
Waiting. There is much of that while going through a divorce. You wait your turn at Court. You wait for your lawyer to return your call. You wait for your ex-spouse to respond to your settlement offers. You wait for the support check to arrive. You wait for escrow to...